Crash Bandicoot

I lived in a Nintendo household growing up and didn't acquire a non-Nintendo system until 2004, when I got my PS2. There was a huge backlog of PS1 titles that I missed and with the PS3's downloadable service, I'm able to check out what I've been missing. Crash Bandicoot was the Playstation's Mario equivalent, back when it was pretty much required for all systems to have one. It was made by Naughty Dog, the same people who would go on to make the those tolerable Jak and Daxter games. The Crash series went on without them and people have been complaining that the series was better in their care, but taking on their initial outing with the Bandicoot, I found a game that wasn't even worth completing! This game has been taking up space on my PS3's hard drive since early January, and while I normally won't talk about something on this blog without completing it (or in the case of stuff I already owned - replaying it), This game is just too unplayable to warrant even that.

Crash Bandicoot is a like a 3D Super Mario World or Donkey Kong Country. In fact, it's kinda what Mario 64 would have been like it had just took Mario World and put it in 3D. The gameplay is simplistic and kinda enjoyable, barely complicated at all. However the level designs are just pure shit and feature tons of cheap deaths and this is greatly elevated by the fact that it's in 3D and the camera is low. The controls are stiff and feature some of the clunkiest jumping I've seen in a platformer and combining this with poor level design and low camera turns stage progression into a nightmarish game of trail and error. Even when the game shows presents the action from a 2D perspective, the ledges are rarely more than one block wide, so if you happen to accidentally move up or down, you're likely dead. Then there are the stages where Crash rides a Warthog and dies when the damn thing runs into the tiniest little pebble on the ground...and the shit controls don't make that any better.

But you know, even with all that the game wouldn't be too much trouble to muscle through if it wasn't for the game's truly fatal flaw. The greatest problem in a game filled with annoyances is that it simply won't let you save. To save your progress or get a password, you can either complete a Tawna bonus stage and you can only do a bonus area once per level, so if you want to save again you'll actually need to find another level with a bonus area and of course the game doesn't inform you of what stages have them and if they've been completed. The other method of saving is to get a gem. That option is ruined by the fact that you must destroy all boxes in a stage without dying to get a gem and I've already covered how horrendous the levels are. It's a shame, if I was simply allowed to save when I wanted, I would have at least been able to persist to the game's end, but now it just left me wondering how this series ever got off the ground.